Snagged for posterity from:
Upon witnesing President Trump's CNN smackdown tweet today, I was left making much the same facial expression Laurence Fishburn makes at the end of The Matrix when he realizes Neo truly is The One. Long has MPC and the greater alt-right waxed rhapsodic over Trump's many paradigm-shifting qualities, but today was the first day I truly saw him for what he is: Trump is not just a Chad, he is The Chad, in much the same way top-level Taoists claim to become the Tao. This is the key to understanding his behavior and why he appears to so effortlessly triumph over legions of incredibly well-financed yet morally-bereft, insidious bugpeople. If you were to combine every star high school quarterback and Ray-Ban clad summer lifeguard into one, you still would not be scratching the surface of the Pure Chadism that flows through Donald Trump's veins at any given moment. For him, bullyciding isn't just a fun pasttime; it's a way of life.
Donald Trump is a 139 IQ certified triple alpha Apex Chad, born with a nearly perfect anti-autism genome which was then steeled through a lifetime spent in the cutthroat world of high-end ManFUCKINGhatten real estate, which is basically the Olympics of bare, no holds barred Jewry. He is at the top of the Chad food chain, imbued with not only the quotidian Chad qualities of athleticism and insouciance, but also rarer, top-level Chad qualities like completely effortless trolling and unshakable detachment. When you see Trump - the President of the United States of America, lest we forget - retweeting a meme of (real, actual) himself delivering a WWE Raw smackdown to the bugman hive that is CNN, you're watching a completely autonomic response; trolling comes as easy to President Trump as breathing comes to the rest of us, and he puts the same amount of thought into it as you or I just put into our last breath. Unlike his bugman opponents, The Chad does not expend valuable energy hand-wringing over what the latest (((models))) may show; The Chad simply does. Whether he's a plucky, new-to-the-scene NYC realtor having his associate "John Miller" call up some sleazeball tabloid yid to call him a f****t, or a 2016 Republican presidential candidate bragging about his dick size to 80 million prime-time viewers, or the President of the United States of America retweeting a silly meme showing him giving CNN a stunner, The Chad is acting on 100% instinct at all time; this makes him an absolutely fatal opponent for the bugman, whose modus operandi is by nature spergy, data/consensus-driven, and highly fragile. Many here have spoken at length of Trump's anti-fragility in the vein of Taleb; I propose that Trump exists outside of the fragility continuum altogether, a being wholly inoculated against any traditional understanding of vulnerability. Imagine the popular "it all runs off like water down a duck's back" copypasta we are so fond of poasting; now imagine that there is no "... but call him a Jew" clause. That is Donald Trump, The Chad. He has no natural weakness, at least not insofar as the postmodern, atomized, bugman Acela class is concerned.
Exactly how Chad is Donald Trump? We're talking about a man who had the stones to write a very Chadily-composed tell all paperback some 30 years ago that - and this is really amazing stuff, folks - literally takes the reader on a point by point dissection of his understanding of life, the gambits he runs, how he views success and how he wins so often. His entire playbook, laid bare for any literate man, woman, or child to peruse at their leisure, millions of which did. But because Donald Trump understands the nerd/bugman on a fundamental level - far better than the bugman knows even himself - he knows that even with his entire strategic gameplan free for the taking, there is no danger of the enemy catching on. Trump's Chad instincts are so finely tuned that he knows even if he shows the crowd how the magic trick is done, if he does it with his trademark flair, they'll keep falling for it every time. Whether consciously or not (likely not, as we're talking about hardwired, base-level instincts at this point), Trump realizes the bugman will never catch on, as the bugman considers Trump a buffoon, a charlatan, an idiot and a fraud, just as the nerd sees the garden-variety Chad. Simply speaking, bugpeople simply have no idea what they're dealing with when encountering Trump; watching them squirm reminds me of the Strugatsky brothers' Roadside Picnic, wherein mankind spends an inordinate amount of time trying to comprehend alien actions that were, to the aliens, simply a picnic stop. Not only does the bugman foolishly consider himself smarter than Trump, he simply does not understand him at all. To them, his very existence is incomprehensible, a problem to be run through endless datasheets and algorithms and editorial columns; to Trump, that the bugman exists doesn't even register.
When you're watching Trump troll, you're not merely watching a maestro at work; no, you're seeing the very essence of trolling given human form. Trump himself is aware of his incredible, Chadly prowess, as he mocks his opponents' appeals to staid (and laughable) ARE PRESIDENTIAL DIGNITY by announcing that he is not presidential, but modern presidential, a one-off tweet that illustrates Trump has a far deeper understanding of his paradigm-shattering position than he normally lets on. He knows exactly what he is doing, folks. His Twitter finger is a veritable Seal Team Six of bullycide, able to (((ethnically))) cleanse entire newsrooms with the tap of a pinky. Trump is essentially delivering public, extrasensory wedgies and swirlies over the air to millions of bugmen at any given moment; to be quite honest, this is a level of Chadism that I thought was theoretically impossible. No one man should be able to bullycide like ARE president, and yet there he is, delivering a precision-guided tweetbomb holocaust right to the frontostriatal pathway of millions of shitlibs at 2:05am in the morning. This is simply preternatural.
To borrow one of my favorite CJ quotes (over a year old now, how time flies in Trumpville ):
Cinco Jotas, on 14 May 2016 - 12:22 PM, said:
f**k the movies. There's no happy ending here for the media. This is evolution in action. Our oppressive s**tlibmedia has produced the ultimate media killer. Trump isn't a centipede. He's one of those giant Japanese hornets that kills an entire hive full of bees. He's immune to their stings, and until they evolve a new strategy, which will take a generation or more, it'll just be carnage.
This is a fantastic metaphor, but I think in light of recent events it could use some minor tweaks. Not only is Trump completely immune to the bugman's stings and their postmodern false idols of snark and sarcasm and feigned outrage, he absolutely thrives on their suffering. I see Donald Trump as more of a blue whale (the most yuge animal), happily gliding along with a smug look on his face, mouth lazily opened, all the while swallowing hundreds of plankton at any given moment. Journalists, shitlibs, and assorted anti-Trump f****ts are in this simile the plankton, just complete non-entities to the yuge Trump juggernaut, completely inconsequential in every way, unable to do much of anything in the face of the oncoming titan. Their suffering and eventual destruction fuel Trump for even more trolling and bullyciding; where in the past, conservative sadsacks would wither and die in the face of sustained s**tlibonslaught, President Trump uses their angst to propel himself forward, not really even aware that any one given s**tlib-plankton exists. Trump is an extinction level event for the bugpeople, who are quickly discovering their snarky takedowns and affected, outraged attitudes are akin to when the Poles trotted out the cavalry against the blitzkrieg. When you see the Trump CNN tweet you are effectively witnessing shitlibs using 20th century tactics coming up against a 21st century president; just a complete and total slaughter, the Charge of the Blight Brigade.
I never thought in my life we'd see such a spectacle, and yet here we are, existing in a universe where it's not completely implausible that POTUS Trump will have John Cena deliver a Five Knuckle Shuffle to some nebbishy trickle down media whore during one of his upcoming press conferences. I only wish David Foster Wallace could have lived to see this day; who would have thought that the harbinger of New Sincerity would be a reality TV billionaire who starred in a Pizza Hut commercial? ARE president is such a Chad that he is murdering postmodernism right before our very eyes, using nothing more than a free Twitter account. Infinite jest indeed.
Edited by Jung Man, 02 July 2017 - 05:32 PM.